PATRIARCHY DEHUMANIZES MEN

“Patriarchy is a system of society or government in which men hold the power and women are largely excluded from it.” Patriarchy has been running in the blood of every Indian since the beginning of time. It started with killing (female foeticide), forcing (Sati), defaming (rape), harassment (child marriage) and it has been growing with each day that passes by. The reason why men have the power to muffle women is because they have the authority, they are the decision makers and they have control over women’s bodies and their thoughts. But we need to comprehend the fact that men are not solely responsible for all this nuisance. It’s not their fault. The motivation for all this menace is the patriarchal system we’ve been following since generations.

Image result for patriarchy gif

Patriarchy instructs men to suppress women because men are the dominant ones in the society. Patriarchy forces men to support misogyny. And when a man refuses to do so, the title of being a ‘man’ is seized from him. We, both men and women need to realize that patriarchy is a dangerous system. It will not only ruin women but also dehumanize men. If men are born leaders why not take leadership against patriarchy?

It’s funny when parents tell their 13 year old son to assist his 20 year old sister when she wants to go out in the evening. Do you know why mothers always tell their sons to go out and bring grocery? It’s either because she wants him to grow up to be a caring husband OR because she’s scared to let her daughter roam around on the streets at odd hours. We celebrate a festival called ‘Raksha bandhan’ where the sister ties a rakhi to her brother and in return he has to protect her from any obstacles. I am not against this, but this is exactly how we teach girls and boys that girls are weak they need protection and boys are strong they don’t need any protection. The boy when grows up into a man will never be able to ask help from a man or a woman because he was taught that men do not ask for help, they’re strong and they HAVE to take care of themselves and everyone around them.

Image result for patriarchy gif

I understand men are sick and tired of all the crimes other men commit and the blame goes to all the men. And the only statement they can say out loud to support themselves is that NOT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME. Absolutely true, but MEN are the ones who do this to the suppressed section of the society. If the “not all men are same” men come out of their coffins to aid and support the helpless women things would be much more easier. The reason for men going insane is patriarchy and the reason for feminism are men.

Image result for men and women equality gif

A boy can’t like pink color, a boy can’t cry, a boy can’t cook, a boy can’t play with a doll, a boy can’t choose his field of studies. A boy is pressurized to agree to whatever his parents say because he is the one who has to look after a family when he grows up. He has to earn money. The reason why most of the parents are overjoyed by having a baby boy is because he’s going to be their asset and a daughter will be their liability. It’s disheartening because these little boys are treated like robots at a young age which makes them what they are when they grow up. They are taught that “mard ko dard nahi hota.”(men don’t feel pain) Smh! Why? Aren’t men humans? Don’t they have a heart and skin which can get hurt emotionally and physically. Why don’t men get paternity leaves? The baby isn’t only ‘hers’ it’s ‘theirs’, the father deserves to spend time with his little baby. Why are women told to stay at home when a psychopath commits a heinous crime? Why can’t they make rules so strict that next time these men think a thousand times before they take the wrong step.

It is okay for a man to cry.

Image result for men and women equality gif

It is okay for a woman to fight for her rights.

Image result for woman hitting gif

For once all the men out there need to hear the feminists out, try to understand what they are fighting for and how it’s going to help the society as a whole.

Image result for men and women equality gif

GENDER INEQUALITY IN RELATIONSHIPS

According to Dr. John Gottman’s highly respected research, gender issues significantly exacerbate relationship problems

Men and women have different grievances which eventually results in complaints and criticisms. It is difficult for men to handle the sudden outburst of emotions by their female partner. Women are pretty much aware of the fact that men are more easily emotionally flooded and that’s when they try to get what they want

Men are much more aggressive than women and that’s what frightens women the most. A man can yell at his female partner or raise his hand on her but she can’t do the same to him because she is considered to be weak and feeble. A woman bends down to her partner if he shows his masculine power. And if she ever tries to fight back it won’t last long the after effects of her standing up for herself can be much worse.

Husbands are usually the earning hand of the family and the wife has to sit back at home and look after their kids. WHY? Men can sit at home and look after their kids and women can go to work. Bollywood movies are senseless but it does have some movies which puts light on such cases and gives clarity to the society. Ki and Ka is a perfect example for such kind of a family. Society will judge you, but who cares? If the couple and their kids are happy why even bat an eye to what the society says.

Related image

 

WOMEN EMPOWERMENT & FEMINISM

“The concept of gender empowerment refers to people of any gender, stressing the distinction between biological sex and gender as a role.”

Women being the most discriminated and suppressed it is extremely crucial to give rise to women empowerment. It is important for men to promote women empowerment and necessary for women to not misuse this by any way. Women empowerment has motivated another concept to rise which is known as ‘feminism’.

Feminism refers to the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities. People misunderstand the meaning and aim of feminism which results in conflicts between the two sexes. This is the most controversial and complicated topic but is it pretty simple to understand if one wants to.

Related image

Feminists DO NOT want to dominate the society. They do not want to get themselves a respectable place in the society by degrading men. All we want is to be treated EQUALLY. It’ll be easier to get through this by chopping of men’s heads but that’s exactly what feminism is NOT!

Image result for feminism

We NEED feminism in our society. We cannot counter it just because of some misunderstandings and extreme feminists(who are not even feminists). We have to jointly, as men and women support this cause for giving women the rights they deserve but never got.

MEN ARE IN DANGER!

Women are the ones in real danger but because of that the government discriminates against men through the use of overly aggressive laws designed to protect women. If a husband has relation with someone else he will be jailed, but a women cannot be punished for adultery. Women are a victim of sexual assaults but that certainly does not mean that the same cannot happen to a man. Even if the sexual abuse is against a man the police will be in favor of the woman and beat the man up and also jail him. Domestic violence is a major issue in most houses where the husband hits the wife, however there are houses where the woman hits her husband too. Maybe it is not so common or maybe there’s no light put on such cases because of which we are still unaware. In the movie Ek Villain domestic violence against husband was shown which has put light on this scenario.

Image result for ek villain wife beating riteish deshmukh

WOMEN ARE IN DANGER

Since the very beginning women have always been suppressed by the dominant sector of the society. The discrimination is so vigorous that it begins even before they are born. The preference of a son over a daughter gave rise to female foeticide. According to the Hindu custom a widow had to jump alive into the burning pyre of her dead husband or was forced to shave her head and wear white for the rest of her life. Whereas if a man becomes a widower none of these ‘rituals’ have to be performed by him, instead he is allowed to marry again the reason being that there has to be someone to look after his children. According to the Muslims, a man is allowed to marry 4 women (after divorce) but the same rules are not applicable for a women. Why do men get such privileges while women do not and they also get discriminated for the same.

Related image

WE discriminate!

While each one of us is discriminated we fail to notice that we individually discriminate others too. If we see a man wearing a pink t-shirt we instantly remark “He looks so gay” or if we spot a woman driving we make fun of her by saying “pakka thokegi.” Times are changing and we can’t turn a blind eye to the fact that most women do not like the color pink and maximum accidents on road are caused by a man driving. If a man is seen crying we consider him to be feminine and if a woman is seen weight lifting she’s considered to be masculine. We wish we aren’t discriminated but we ourselves end up discriminating others which is certainly not fair. It is crucial for us to understand that if we stop doing it to others, others will stop doing it to us.

SHE > HE

We symbolize men to be stronger than women and women to be emotional than men. However, we forget that women can be strong and men can be emotional. It is a taboo for a man to shed tears. If he ever does all he gets to hear is ‘ladki hai kya?’ Firstly, why such stereotypes? and secondly, why is that taken as an insult? It is absolutely NORMAL for a human irrespective of their gender to show emotions, to cry, to laugh or do whatever they want. If we spot a random man on the street wearing a pink color shirt haven’t we all said “SO GAY!” Since when did pink color turn gay? Only because pink is said to be a feminine color? As a matter of fact majority of women don’t even like the color pink. Men and women are given education equally but why is it that parents always expect the man to be the earning hand of the family? Why do they have to pressurize their sons and get them into study fields which they aren’t even interested in just for the sake of earning relatively more. We need to understand and make people understand that men look tough and strong on the outside but they’re still as soft as a feather from the inside.

HE > SHE

Why are certain behaviors confined to only men? Why are women discriminated when they wish to follow it? Our society has made an imaginary list which each and every individual follows strictly no matter what. For a man to ask dowry it is absolutely fine but for a woman to ask for financial help after a divorce the case has to be taken to the court. We welcomed gender inequality to our country with the practice of ‘sati’, a ritual performed by Hindus where after the death of the husband the widow had to jump alive into the burning pyre. This was the start of the patriarchal society where the men had authority over women. After this heir inheritance was offered to men, women had to leave her home once married which eventually led to the preference of a son over a daughter which caused female foeticide. We have evolved ever since but unfortunately we are still stuck there. We need to get out and help others get out too.

BLIND EYE GENDER

It is crucial to be conscious of the fact that gender is not only male and female, there is a third gender which is commonly referred as ‘transgender’. While men and women are discriminated so are the transgender community. Few years back they were not even accepted in the society, they were not considered humans. As we try to find equality for men and women we also have to keep in mind that this community needs it the most. It’s difficult for people to accept them but it is definitely not impossible. Why do we always turn a blind eye to this gender? It’s high time we as individuals stand up for them and help them find a respectable place in the society.

SHE = HE

We need to comprehend the fact that gender and sex are two diverse terms. Sex refers to our biological differences such as male and female, whereas Gender tends to refer to cultural or social differences.

We live in a society that follows the “HE>SHE” equation. We’ve all failed in maths, haven’t we? But this is that one sum which we will never do wrong. It’s high time that each one of us realize that there is no greater sign, there is no crocodile mouth. We’re all equal. We all have our pros and cons but that certainly does not make us anything lesser than each other. None of us can survive without the opposite sex so why do we suppress one and dominate the other one? Men should like blue and women should like pink. Men should fight and women should cry. Men should work and women should stay home and look after their kids. Who makes these rules? And who punishes us if we break them? A woman is as strong as a man and a man is as sensitive as a woman. It’s high time that we stop gender discrimination for the betterment of the society. A child is not ‘abnormal’ if he likes to play with barbie dolls nor is she ‘weird’ if she chooses sports cars and action figures over doll houses. Who says that it has to be the man who proposes for marriage? Who says that it has to be the woman who leaves her house after marriage? A man does not have to pay for a date nor a woman has to wash the dishes after dinner. The only way to alter gender inequality is by selflessly making the changes.

Image result for friends ben plays with barbie

Being treated equally should be the same as treating others equally. The change begins with us, it should start with us.